Panic Delivery

Oh, new humans! How exciting! ✨ Welcome to Panic Delivery - the most wonderful job opportunity for hardworking humans looking for meaningful (but mandatory) work. Let’s talk business - you are a COURIER - teaming up with other COURIERS - to deliver, recover and smuggle packages to our host of beautiful monsters in our ✨ stunning, dystopian, monster-run world ✨! First and likely the most important factor for humans - work-life balance! As part of our employer-employee insurance policy, we’ve invested in a state-of-the-art cloning program! Throughout your employment, you get 99 backup clones. With every death, a fresh clone is deployed to continue your hard work. Run out of “lives”? Everything resets - like nothing ever happened. But you keep your purchased swag! Talk about efficiency! 😊 I’m sure you’re worried already - but fear not! With the Speetchy you get from missions, we’re selling you weapons & tools to help defend yourselves, as well as some "boujee swag" in exchange for Bonus Permits. Besides securing your personal safety, we know you humans love Dopamine! Speaking of not dying - don’t worry! There shouldn’t be too much pressure about it. You can always team up with fellow Couriers. This means two fun things: delivering packages and dying together! Oh, and you won’t be stuck in just one lovely workplace! We take pride in offering a wide variety of delivery routes across our ✨ ever-expanding operational zones ✨. Haunted houses, panic factories and the Antarctic base bring new sights, new challenges, and new ways to perish - oops! I mean, grow. And our unfriendly neighbourhood monsters! So diverse! So unique! So… hungry! Each one has their own personality, preferences, and exciting ways of interacting with Couriers. We highly encourage you to observe them closely - from a safe distance, if possible! We’re always looking for enthusiastic humans who can follow simple instructions, survive impossible situations, and keep smiling through it all! Apply now. Your shift is waiting.